Fathers and Daughters

I encountered this list of 20 things every father should tell his daughter on Facebook.  As with all things Facebook, it’s about 47-53% of the way toward real wisdom.


1) Pay attention to the way a man loves his mother. That is the way he will love you.

2) You can do anything a man can do, including organic chemistry, unclogging toilets and assembling IKEA furniture.
3) Older women wear makeup so THEY can look like YOU. Less is more. A lot less is a lot more.
4) People will judge you by the way you look. It isn’t fair, but it’s the way the world works. Keep that in mind as you pick your outfit in the morning.
5) Never let anyone do your thinking for you. There are far too many people with far too much invested in you believing what they believe.
6) Liberal arts grow your mind. Science and business keep you fed. You will need both.
7) Nothing is more attractive than intelligence.
8) Learn to drive a stick-shift.
9) Get comfortable with power tools.
10) You don’t have to enjoy them, but have a working knowledge of the rules for football and baseball.
11) Know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, and they key players in both.
12) You don’t have to *DO* anything for someone to love you. The right person will cross a desert just for the chance to sit next to you at lunch.
13) Peer pressure is all about insecurity. Be confident in who you are and you’ll never have to “fit in”. People will come to you.
14) The fastest way to strain a relationship with a man is to bring up old drama. We can’t remember to hang up the bath towel. What makes you think we remember that stupid thing we did 6 months ago?
15) If a man genuinely loves you, he will let you set the boundaries. Don’t let anyone take something from you they can’t give back. You set the tone for the sexual relationship.
16) Feminie hygiene products — Where our daughters are concerned, we would be very happy sticking our fingers in our ears and saying “lalalalalalalala”. Please respect our need to pretend they, and the reason for them, do not exist. The same goes for lacy underthings.
17) You were flawless the day you were born. If you must go get that first tattoo, please consider inviting your daddy to come and get his first tattoo with you.
18) You are perfect the way you roll out of bed. Let’s be clear: all that crap you do to “get out the door” is for everyone else’s benefit.
19) Though he may be smiling on the outside, when you leave for college your father is falling apart on the inside. Don’t forget to call him that first night to tell him you love him.
20) Compare every single boy you ever meet to your daddy. Nobody will love you like he does.

Don’t forget to share!


I didn’t forget to share – thanks for cooperating.  Below are a few rebuttals, and then a few addenda.

Response to #2 – You cannot impregnate another woman.  Also, you can’t run as fast as the fastest man, and I hope #2 won’t lead you to believe there are no differences between men and women.  There are a great deal of things women can do that men can’t, and others still that women can do better.

#5 – This is not an excuse to deny all authority.  I think scientists would be upset about this, but I offer you Christ as the supreme authority.  The former are telling you what they believe (things that very well seem to be true); the Latter is telling you what He knows.

#6 – At first I thought this was intended psychologically or spiritually, but I see the practical application and agree with that.  Still, to be fed in the truest way (of which mere metabolism is only a type), do not ignore the supernatural.

#7 – This is not true, except for certain people.  It really isn’t, but it should not deter you from owning and developing your intelligence.  Do that because you ought to.

#8 – Eh.  I don’t drive stick shift.  It’s not that critical of a skill, except in a negligible percentage of situations.  Do it if you want to, but it doesn’t crack my top 1000 things to tell you.

#10 is well-intentioned, but enjoy what you enjoy, and be interested if you want to be interesting.  Don’t limit this axiom to football and baseball, for goodness sake.

#11 – Not important.

#12 – “Love them back” is a notable exception, but I agree that you and your love should be willing to make mutual sacrifices for each other.

#14 – This does not demonstrate the implicit sensitivity of the modern man.  But I have no actual opinion on it.

#15 – Yes, and don’t have sex unless you’re ready for children.  Honestly, this is one of the greatest concrete gifts you can give anyone.  Reducing it to f*cking is naive and dim-witted.  Reducing it even to “I really, really love him” is similarly naive, and only indicative that you should be thinking about your willingness to commit.  When you’ve committed – like, you’ve mutually promised to die a hundred deaths for each other – then give him that most profound of physical gifts (at least, among those after which both participants are still alive).  It’s not old-fashioned – it’s everlasting.  There’s a difference.

#17 – You were not flawless, but I appreciate the spirit of this one.  You did not, and do not, have to be flawless to inspire my unconditional love.  In that, I attempt to model God.

#19 is nice.  #20 is true.



Following up on #2 – Do not accept without examination the modern concept of motherhood.  Do not accept the typical feminist propaganda.  #5 applies to feminists as much as it applies to anyone.  I would die for Mary before I would die for anyone (and your mother is second), and God saw fit to have us remember her chiefly as a Mother, and the purest of mere mortals.  You have an unspeakable opportunity, and don’t let the moderns strip you of the profundity or the joy.

Before you get right with the world, or get right with yourself – get right with God.  Otherwise you’ve no sure idea what “right” is.

I love you until I die, up to and including the possibility that I should die for you.  I will certainly die a thousand little deaths as I try to bring you up.  God willing, I will love you beyond death.

I am only a man.  Your Father is in Heaven, and I am simply and only trying my best to point you to Him.

And there’s no way I can tell you everything I want to say in 20 pithy ways.  But I try to love you deeply, and honor you, and I pray that those things will be the pattern of your life.



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